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Goodness

It is our young people that will save this world.

Goodness in children can bring us all together. Despite religious differences, parents, with all of us, can guide children in the same spiritual direction toward Goodness.

 

An example of a display of Goodness is when two young children can play in a positive manner for a substantial amount of time. Parents must not focus solely on their children's obedience for the parent's gratification without promoting and acknowledging Goodness.  

Psychological Resilience

Prevention: Goodness can change the world, but children must be prepared with Psychological Resilience.

We can all do something to change the trajectory of our society. The focus should be on the children because having that focus itself makes for a better society. And it is the parents who ultimately offer the child the best chance to develop psychological resilience. It begins with the “Scientist in the Crib”, as described by Alison Gopnik. After the baby is born, there are times when the baby cries not from pain but from thought-fears in the brain. When promoting psychological resilience, the emotion of crying is separated from the thoughts in the brain. Immediate attention should be paid to the emotion of a baby crying. However, it is the internal trauma from childhood that can affect adult thoughts and cause social ills such as anxiety. Prevention of social ills begins in early childhood when parents “connect” with their children’s thoughts as described in Structure-Bonding-Connecting parenting model.

 

To define “psychological resilience” as opposed to “emotional resilience,” psychological refers to thoughts in the mind, while emotional refers to the physical results of those thoughts. For example, a child may have a “thought-fear” of a monster under the bed. When the child goes to bed at night, the thought-fear ignites into an emotion such as crying, shivering, or even feeling ill.

Psychological resilience is the ability to handle negative thought-fears before they are taken over by negative emotions or result in negative consequences. 

 

A parent can guide the child to handle thought-fears that are limiting and harming, and promote thought-fears that are motivating and protecting. 

Example of a thought-fear that can limit and harm to one that motivates and protects:

Child: I do not want to go to school tomorrow.

Parent: What is your fear? 

Child: I will not pass the test.

Parent: Is there another way for you to handle your thought-fear?

Child: No

Parent: Can I help you?

Child: If I study, can you help me with some questions?

Parent: Yes

A more profound example would be examining the thought-fears of a child being bullied, the fears of the on-looking children to be accepted by the peer group, or the fears of inadequacy of the bullying child himself.

The S-B-C Parenting Model can guide parents in finding ways
to “connect” with young children’s thought-fears. 

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STRUCTURE-BONDING-CONNECTING PARENTING MODEL

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STRUCTURE

Having a good structure that is agreed upon by both parents as a team is the first step in gaining lasting trust that will lead to open communication. The structure has to do with rules and the discipline imposed in a one-way direction by the parents. 

BONDING

All the back-and-forth emotions, education, achievement, hugging, conversation, togetherness, and enjoyment usually define a family.

CONNECTING

Connecting first requires a parent who has gained the trust of a child by being consistent in structure and who bonds well with the child. But is the parent prepared to listen compassionately, patiently, and without judgment while encouraging the child to state thought-fears? This is called the child emptying the brain. 

Helping a child to handle thought-fears that are limiting or harming while encouraging thought-fears that are motivating and protecting is the art of bringing out psychological resilience in early childhood for the prevention of social ills.

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